Why Is My Child Not Playing with Other Children When We’re at Playgroup? A Look at Parallel Play and Socialising

As parents, it’s natural to wonder when our little ones will start playing together—really together—and not just side-by-side in their own little worlds. It can be particularly concerning when you’re at playgroup, and your child seems more interested in doing their own thing than interacting with the other children. It’s easy to think that socialising kids is something that just happens overnight, but in reality, it’s a gradual process, often kicking off with something called parallel play.

Understanding Parallel Play

Parallel play is when children play near each other but aren’t really interacting. You might see two toddlers sitting next to each other in a sandbox, each happily building their own castles, but not sharing tools or talking to one another. This type of play is common in the early years and helps lay the foundation for more complex social interactions down the line.

Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist and founder of Aha! Parenting, explains, "Between the ages of two and three, toddlers start to engage in 'Parallel Play' which is defined as when kids play next to, but not with, other kids."

The Transition to Associative Play

As children grow, they start to engage more with one another—exchanging toys, maybe even negotiating who gets the blue block. This transition into associative play, where they start sharing, taking turns, and chatting, shows they’re developing the social skills that will help them build friendships later on.

Patience in Social Development

But even when kids are playing together, it doesn’t mean the road to socialising is always smooth. Dr. Susie Allison, a former teacher and creator of Busy Toddler, notes, "Kids don't learn social skills at school, they learn them at home."

So, if you’ve noticed that your little one seems more comfortable in their own world at playgroup, don’t worry. This is just one stage in their social development, and with time, they’ll begin to interact more and more with others.